Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
