I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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