Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
