So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
