dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
