Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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