Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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