I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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