Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
