So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
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Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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