The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
