Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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