just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize