I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
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So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
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I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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