Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
