I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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