How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
