i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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