Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
