I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
