i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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