I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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