This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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