Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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