apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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