after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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