Soap is not a condiment
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
