you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
