Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
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Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
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