alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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