A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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