I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Randomize
