i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
