So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
