i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
