No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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