M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it's like iHOP with fire
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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