just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
