Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This gyro tastes like lonliness
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
