I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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