walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
