you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize