Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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