woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
