the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
