I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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