I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
