are you still at the devil's house?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
sex in a hospital.. check
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
