The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
