Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
