i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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