So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
