You smell like stripper and shame
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
