dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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