**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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