I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
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