I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Randomize
