Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
