I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He felt like a one man threesome
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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