Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
