God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
barbara walters just said penis...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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